Nurture It

I read an answer on quora and I relate to it a lot. Its good to be added to this collection of thoughts.

I have just come out of an 8.5 years of serious relationship. I never thought this can happen. NEVER. She loves me and i too love her a lot. But sometimes that is not enough. Love takes hard work and nurturing. It is common for people in long term serious relationships to lose some spark or have less intense feelings. That is the time you sit down and make things work.

As someone said, one person cannot alone save it. I was the one who did some mistakes, but i was the one in the end left trying. She did not tried enough. She tried to hide her feelings from me and those feelings piled up in the end and did a lot of harm. Everything i did in the end was seen with a doubt, and that i was now trying to make things better when she doesn’t care. After a lot of trying , i was forced to let her go no matter how much pain i endure inside my heart.

It takes two to tango boss, always. Making it or breaking it. The most beautiful and promiscuous relationships can end, and they do. So nurture it , love it and be yourself. Its easy to lose your own identity when love takes over.

Now, how can you bear the pain if something like a 8–9 yr Rlt its over ? First 2 months you will feel like something has died. You will exactly like that. You will cry your heart out. You will be numb. You will become temp depressed. You will become dysfunctional. Thats the time you have to keep watching yourself in mirror everyday and tell yourself that it will be better.
Thats when you need your soul to kick in when your body gives up.

Scientifically its similar to withdrawing from drugs. You are breaking a habit that has been your everyday life for past 7–8 years. It will be foolish to think it would be easy. It isn’t boss. Never is. But we are not the first ones to do it. People have been through a lot more. So thats the time man up. Respect that you have a soul and respect it.

But, this all can be avoided for good. Try your best to save a valuable relationship, always. Try what you think you can without being an ass and hurting the other person. Try hard. Very Very hard or you will regret later thinking you could have done more. SO TRY EXTREMELY HARD IF YOU LOVE HIM/HER.

If it works out, cherish it and take care. If it does not, don’t beg/ plead. Tell them who much you mean to them and how much diff it is for you to do this. But if nothing works, don’t plead and respect the other person and his/her wish. They were with you because you are a great human being. Or they would have never given years of their life for you. Same goes for them too. So don’t plead for LOVE. Respect them and buckle up for whats ahead. You will be forced to face a feeling more stronger than death of parents. Trust me. and you will have to be strong to make it through. In the end , do it for yourself. Show the other person that you are strong and you can handle life. That makes you more attractive in the eye of the world and your ex.

The birds they sang
at the break of day
Start again
I heard them say
Don’t dwell on what
has passed away
or what is yet to be.
Ah the wars they will
be fought again
The holy dove
She will be caught again
bought and sold
and bought again
the dove is never free.

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in.